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The Peacemaker

February 28, 2011

Justin Taylor posts some excerpts from Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. The excerpts say:

First, the offense should not have created a wall between you and the other person or caused you to feel differently toward him or her for more than a short period of time.

Second the offense should not be causing serious harm to God’s reputation, to others, or to the offender. . . .

He explains that overlooking is active, not passive:

Overlooking is not a passive process in which you simply remain silent for the moment but file away the offense for later use against someone. That is actually a form of denial that can easily lead to brooding over the offense and building up internal bitterness and resentment that will eventually explode in anger.

Instead, overlooking is an active process that is inspired by God’s mercy through the gospel. To truly overlook an offense means to deliberately decide not to talk about it, dwell on it, or let it grow into pent-up bitterness.

If you cannot let go of an offense in this way, if it is too serious to overlook, or if it continues as part of a pattern in the other person’s life, then you will need to go and talk to the other person about it in a loving and constructive manner.

 

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From → Christian Living

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